Reflecting back on the past two months, coming to South Africa for fieldwork was a great decision. Everyday I learn new and different things, meet wonderful people, and am challenged to think about the world and my perceptions of it. But, there is one thing that has been less than great: church.
Sarah and I have been attending Sunday worship services with the congregation that meets on the campus of this university. Logistically, this works great—we don't have a car most weekends, so leaving campus is tricky. But, we can easily manage the trek across the parking lot without the help of a VW Chico.
I don’t want to turn into a worship snob. I really want to like the services and I want to like the people. Every Sunday I go in with an open mind, but somehow walk out more upset than when I started. I've attended five services, so far. Out of those five, four have had some exceptionally mediocre teaching. Last week, in the sermon, the pastor stumbled upon on the issue of tolerance, ranting and raving how Christians are not to be tolerant. They are the moral voice of society and need to be intolerant of society and have their voices heard.
I don't totally disagree with I think the pastor was trying to say, but the way he haphazardly started talking about this very important topic, giving it about 20 seconds time in a 70+ minute sermon left me full of questions: How do Christians remain intolerant of sin yet reach out to the people who need to hear a message of grace? What about groups of people who have been historically turned away from the church because of intolerance? How do Christians hold to their morals, yet remain a relevant voice in the culture as a whole? I still feel slightly unnerved when I think about it.
But the thing that really bothers me about the worship? The people. Every time I have attended Sunday worship I've walked away feeling completely unwelcome. No one (other than the usher standing at the door) says anything. I kind of feel like an extra fork at a fancy dinner: no one really knows what it’s for and doesn’t dare pick it up and use it or even move it off the table.
Even when I pep-talk myself into being assertive and approach people (Styrofoam coffee cup in one hand and Bible in the other) I haven't been well-received. I just kind of want to scream. It shouldn’t be this hard. It's been over two months since I left my church home in St. Louis, and the lack of Christian community in my life is beginning to wear on me.
Maybe this is a good realization. Even though I am constantly surrounded by people at the hostel and people at the hospital, I recognize that just being around people isn't enough. I need to be around people who love God and remind me that God's love is real. I need to hear someone else read scripture and feel the words sink into my soul. I need to hear the confession recited in unison and be convicted of my sin. I need to pray with other people.
I think, one of the reasons I’m so upset about this is because in the past, I’ve had some incredibly rich experiences worshipping with Christians from different parts of the world. A couple of years ago I traveled to Eastern Europe with my college band and we played concerts and worship services in churches all across Transylvania. It was amazing to worship with people we couldn’t even understand because we spoke different languages and feel so connected. My good friend Erin would describe it as encountering the “glue of the Holy Spirit.”
I haven’t quite given up hope on having a positive church-going experience, but honestly, even if things don’t get better, I’ll be okay and eventually find some type of Christian community when I get back to the States. But, I think my dilemma brings to light an important issue, mainly, how do communities (be it churches or neighborhoods, or co-ops, etc.) of Christian people practice hospitality well?
Once again, I don’t have all of the answers. But it seems that before communities can reach out to others, they need to cultivate strong bonds among existing members. And after that, who knows? Maybe all it will take is going up to the tall girl with the cup of coffee and extending a hand.
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I have been meaning to comment on this post for quite awhile. Christian community is a topic near and dear to me.
Ever since I moved, I have been doing a church search, looking for a group of people (preferably Lutherans) who I can join in worship, fellowship, and outreach. In the past year I have visited approximately 20 churches of various denominations, worship styles, and sizes, and have concluded that in general, we Christians need to be more welcoming...to newcomers in our churches, to strangers we encounter in everyday life, and definitely to young adults, who are the in-between generation, often overlooked and under-represented in the Christian community.
Although I am sure that my metric for classifying these churches is anything but objective, I have developed a few church 'stereotypes':
--->There are the churches that consist mainly of senior citizens. These churches usually have fairly traditional services, lots of coffee fellowship activities and bible studies, and are by far the most welcoming churches that I have encountered. Older folks really notice when a new 22 year old enters the building and immediately offer me food, conversation, hospitality, and probably a ride home.
--->Then there are churches with all age groups represented...lots of babies, high school kids, multiple-generation families, and a few token young adults, some married and some single. These churches usually have creative and diverse worship, with lots of congregational involvement. Also, usually there is a strong emphasis on education for kids and adults. If the church is small, this type of church is also extremely welcoming, and will at least greet me and encourage me to attend coffee hour. If it is large, it may take several weeks to meet the members, but they will be enthusiastic for me to get involved, even if there aren't fellowship opportunities specifically designed for young adults.
--->Finally there are the large, often non-denominational churches. These churches often have various forms of contemporary worship service, which vary widely but most consistently involve music and teaching. These large churches have the most young adults represented, and usually have some sort of “small group” system, encouraging mixing of demographics and finding a small community within the large one. They may not welcome me personally, but usually have a standard procedure for dispersing information to newcomers. Worship may seem impersonal, but it is easy to find small groups and form relationships.
So this leaves me with the question: What is my priority in finding a Christian community? Would it be better to be part of a small congregation, where I feel intimately involved in all aspects of church life, but there is a smaller variety of outreach and fellowship opportunities and less young adult members? Would it be better to have lots of faithful young adults around me but worship in a non-denominational setting? How do I know what my priority should be?
This brings me to another topic that I have thought long and hard about. Where are all the young adults in the Christian community? I have read recently that our generation is in general more progressive, more socially conscious, and less content with the status quo than our parents' generation. We are looking for a change and believe that we are the ones to make that change. Also, our generation values religion and spirituality more than our parents generation, or at least the Associated Press seems to think so. So where have all the young adults gone? I don't seem to find them here in the Midwest Lutheran tradition. But are we at mega-churches? Are we living on the coasts? Are we all Southern Baptists?
Maybe I should stop looking for people my own age in the church, and try to start a tradition all on my own. Maybe if I just throw myself into life in my Christian community other young adults will come and join me.
And back to the idea of tolerance that Karen discusses. How does the idea of tolerance apply to me as I live in a community of many non-believers. How can I reach out, without offending, to those who dismiss the idea of God without a second thought. How can I love them best?
Maybe the best form of love we can show is a hospitable, welcoming love. If we can love the newcomers to our churches, then they can more easily see the work of the Holy Spirit through us, and hopefully will spread that love to those living and working around them. Hope and love only increase as they are shared, and if I can open my mind and look around me, I know I will find people to share it with.
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